Bit of a personal issue this one. I read old school reports the other day from when I was in infants and junior school in Cambridge and it opened my eyes to a few things about my personal traits I'd never realised, or had associated with other factors.
About my work they wrote that while capable, I needed constant encouragement to finish tasks. I frustrated teachers because they knew I was bright, but was seemingly apathetic towards work.
I never realised this. I knew that throughout secondary school I was rubbish with homework, often doing it the morning it was due, or coming up with numerous 'my dog ate it' type excuses. I have always thought it was just a teenage phase of subconscious rebellion. Not doing what I was told to, you can't make me etc.
The other thing that suprised me was the bit about my social skills. They wrote that while I talked to lots of different people, I didn't seem to have proper 'friends' as such, choosing to wander from person to person instead, without forming relationships. It says that I didn't respond well to group activities. I offered very little in the way of communication.
Again, I've known that I was and still am, very introvert. I keep myself to myself. I don't feel very comfortable in group situations of more than a couple of people. But I've only thought this was from the time when we moved back to Wales. That it was a product of my environment. Having moved several years before, here I was again in a new place, being stuck in a school with strangers who'd already formed their own friendships. I was the outsider so just disappeared into my shell and found it hard to bond. I've had friends, but have never been confident in talking to new people.
Finding out that these traits go back further than I thought scares me a bit. Why am I like this? Why do I struggle so much with socialising? Why am I all over the place with apparently simple problems? I know I'm not stupid, so why do I have these issues?
One for the psych boffins I think...
